Teyrhune-As It Is With Any King

Lailsund sighed and massaged his temples as the last of the lords left the chamber.  They had spent hours questioning his abilities as a ruler, trying to find fault in his judgments and obsessing over the smallest details.  In the end, they walked away satisfied and a few were even impressed by his knowledge and reasoning.  It left the boy exhausted, and the familiar ache of loneliness and loss tore at his chest at the sudden silence and nearly empty room.

Movement beside the king drew him from his darkening thoughts as Uldermond took a seat at the table beside him.  “You did well, my king.  You have gained much respect this day.”

Lailsund huffed and rolled his eyes, “They care nothing beyond what they can gain from my placement on the throne, Uldermond.  Their opinions will fluctuate as my rulings affect them.  If they prosper, they will love me but should they not…” he sighed.

“As it is with any king, your majesty.”  The man watched the boy with concern.  “You are looking quite tired.  Have you been able to sleep?”

Lailsund chuckled hopelessly, “As tired as I am, I can’t seem to make myself shut down.  I close my eyes and I see her face, Uldermond.  It breaks my heart all over again.  I miss her,” he choked on his words and swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat.  His eyes stung but no tears could find their way out.

Uldermond quickly swiped a tear from his cheek as he whispered, “As do I, my king.  Your mother was the heart and soul of this place.  I have struggled in these few weeks to remain by your side as she wished but I find myself longing for the forests of my childhood.”

“Then you should go.  At least one of us should escape this misery.”

The man watched his king closely for a moment, then gave him a strained smile, “No.  It would bring me no comfort and the temptation to shift and lose myself in that form would be too great.  I made her a promise that I would look out for you, and I can’t leave Romulus to his own vices, either.  He would be lost without me.”

“Condemning the castle to starve would be a poor decision on my part, I guess.”  He gave Uldermond a weak smirk.

“I suppose it would… He is constantly complaining that you are eating even less than usual.  Should I be concerned?”

Lailsund flinched, “Please don’t, Uldermond. I hear enough from Leo about my eating habits.  I’m doing the best I can, okay?  He watches me like I’m a lone sheep in a field full of wolves.  It’s… annoying.”

He smirked at the king, “I remember a time when his gaze would have made you giddy. I thought you liked the boy.”

Lailsund sighed, “Before, he didn’t look at me like I might fall over dead at any moment.  Now…”

“He worries for you, my king.  Even Merna has voiced her concerns at the depth of your grief.  Things will return to the way they once were when Leo is sure that you will be alright.  Is it really so bad to have him fussing over your well-being?”

His mouth twitched, and a smile ghosted across his lips, “I suppose not.”

“At least you can be sure that he returns your affections.”

The smile faded, and he felt a painful twist in his chest, “It’s his job to keep me alive, Uldermond, nothing more.  You know the law better than most.  How long have you and Romulus hidden your marriage from the authorities?  I have no hope of reciprocation from him on that fact alone.  Factor in the complication of his duties and my role as king… I would be a fool to hope for such a thing.”  

Lailsund fidgeted with the edge of the table, “Besides, I’ve seen and heard him flirting with every woman in the castle that was even close to his age.  Even if there could be something between us, he wouldn’t be interested in me.”

Uldermond chuckled, “You honestly don’t see it, do you?  He hides it well, I suppose.”  He sighed as he watched the boy’s puzzlement for a brief moment, then stated, “You are king, Lailsund.  You have every law at your disposal and yet you would let such a thing stop you from being happy.  I understand your hesitation at making such drastic changes in the face of a closed-minded society.  Your father had his qualms, as well with such decisions.  But you need to ask yourself if taking on that fight would be worth the rewards of living freely.  I cannot tell you what to do and I know little of politics, but your mother wished for your happiness, Lailsund.  I have seen only two things that brought you joy—your books and that boy.  Don’t waste your life living with regret.”  He stood and bowed to the king, “I will not be far away. Send for me if you have need.”  Uldermond turned and swept from the room.

Lailsund watched the door close behind the man and a jolt of grief washed over him.  He was too tired to contemplate his words and he would never allow himself to believe that Leo’s concerns were any more than that of a King’s Guard.  He wanted to lose himself in his books and forget the world existed, at least that would bring him a slight reprieve from the loneliness and pain.  Unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to do more than stare blankly at the pages since his mother’s death.  He had tried over and over again, especially in the last week, but the words eluded him, jumbling on the page as if in some strange language he had never learned to read. Maybe if he tried again…

Lailsund stood and the world melted around him, quickly replaced by darkness and a sensation of falling.  His body slammed into something hard and cold, and his head bounced sending flashes of light across his darkened vision.  Muffled yelling filled his ears—was someone calling his name?  He couldn’t be sure as he fought the sinking feeling of the darkness swallowing him. He felt himself being lifted from the cold stone as he lost the battle and the void claimed him.